these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
