Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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