I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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