my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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