You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize