No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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