I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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