so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
