stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
