ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
