This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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