this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
