Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
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my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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