She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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