Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
