Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
