I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
