my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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