I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's blow job season.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
