I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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