I wanna passion pit in your ass
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
