Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just gift wrapped bread.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
