Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
