did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
