Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize