its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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