I wish i was in the wii world.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
