Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
