somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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