If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
