If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
