absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
