Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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