he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
