My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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