I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
