i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
