whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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