She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
