he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
