Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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