so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
