I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
