My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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