Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
