I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
