I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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