you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
