he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
