Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize