I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
