am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
