Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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