I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
