My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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