but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
