Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor

(248): View more from Michigan

Its my greatest physical accomplishment

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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(904): View more from Florida

We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple

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(808): View more from Hawaii

you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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(334): View more from Alabama

My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.

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