Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
