I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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