she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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