College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
