Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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