No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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