if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
