she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
